I’ve written a ton about truth here, and every day there is more learning, observing, and noticing of truth offered and held back.
Just this week I’ve had difficult truth delivered to me. It was known to be difficult, and therefore its delivery took a great deal of courage. Over time, the courage started to mean more, and the content of the truth meant less. Eventually, the courage, and ultimate honesty, is everything. In the moment of learning, however, the absorption of content takes over, and festers until time works magic by allowing absorption, processing, dissipating of content. That’s not to say that the processing of the information is easy, because its not. In the midst of learning, absorbing, processing there is sadness and a lot of anger. Calm moments that look sad, and angry moments that are visceral and loud. We are allowed our humanity and emotions at all levels, and we deserve a “full-bodied” experience.
However, over the last year in spiritual practice, I’ve experienced a shift in how I process information that is brought to me from external sources. I’ve have felt even more of an internal shift away from an ego position and fear response to one that rightfully leaves the content of information — the truth that has been hard to hear — outside of myself. Intellectually I’ve known that is what I’ve wanted to do for years. And I’ve felt myself doing it more recently. Growth.
Difficult and disappointing news, aka an external truth, is not a reflection on the receiver — on their value or importance. For me, given that spiritual practice and direction is one of my callings, the truth delivered to me with sincerity exposes another’s humanity and only magnifies love and empathy from me. I have immense capacity to love and understand when I am facing someone genuine and authentic. I’ve always known that. And now I know that there is really nothing that I could learn from someone else that would truly knock me off center in any sort of meaningful way.
“Discovery” and intentional hiding of truth doesn’t work for me, however, and its something that I can’t accept. In the past, I think I knew my boundaries somewhere inside, but not with such clarity that I would willingly, and welcomingly, change everything to avoid terrible surprises. I simply don’t understand dishonesty because authenticity and honesty bring out the very best of me — my passions, my love. (Tragic irony here: Protect yourself through fear with me and lose me. Bravely expose your truth, and be met in love.)
It all sounds sort of scary, but the power in knowing where I am and letting go is incredibly freeing. And that sense of freedom, and care for myself, allows me less fear via control, and greater compassion, empathy, and, ultimately, unconditional love.
Oh yeah… and its a work in progress! As always.